Flashback #1

Horrible things I did...

Now and then I remember things I did as a child - the worst of them during my teenage years. One just resurfaced in my memory, and thinking back, I really wince when I consider how horrible it was.

Of course, in our de-sensitised society, those are the stories people love to hear. So I'll retell it here, rather than 100 times elsewhere. (Keep in mind, I'm NOT very proud of this).

So....

One day while exploring a large vacant lot of ground in the town of Narromine (where I was quietly going about the business of growing up), I came upon the corpse of a domestic cat in the long, dead grass.

The cat wasn't overly decayed, though it had been dead long enough to maintain it's curved death pose when picked up by one paw and held horizontally.

Incidentally, I don't know if it's true or not, but I've heard that cats don't seem to be as readily infested with maggots and such (thus getting bloated and smelly) like other animals are. Can anyone confirm?

So back to the story. I gather it was mid or late December, because there in the vacant lot I had the most brilliant idea for a prank, and almost wet my pants as I entertained my active mind, playing out the script.

I put the cat in a bag and took it home. Luckily mum and dad trusted me during the school holidays, and knew that I wouldn't get up to mischief... so there was no guardian to oversee what I was doing that day.

Once home, I raided the cupboards and wrapped the dear creature up in Christmas paper. I also wrote out a pleasant card and attached it to the 'gift'.

I returned to the area I found it, and knowing that the house next to the vacant block was the abode of some neighbourhood children (of the Santa-believing age), I dropped the gift at the door and made haste for the long grass, then home.

The best I could do from there was lie on my bed and giggle at what might happen. For when those children found that gift (or hopefully their folks found it first), the would've discovered a lovely Christmas gift with a little card, reading:

Dear Children,
Do not open until Christmas!
Have a happy Christmas,
Love Santa.