Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Catalepsy is it?

I wish I knew what this was...

(Note: there seem to be varying interpretations on what "catalepsy" really is. I haven't found any official definition yet)

I've been indulging in a LOT of reading of late. This means going to bed way past midnight and feeling rather zonked the following day. From previous experience, this state of extreme fatigue, in conjunction with sleeping on my back, proves to be perfect conditions for what I believe is catalepsy.

This morning I was lying in my bed, mostly still asleep, but slightly aware. I was still in my dreamy state and I was dreaming that I had a very old book from the early 1900s (fashioned like these old Salvation Army bandmaster's score). This booklet had a table of contents that gave suggestions for coming out of catalepsy (can I call it a "cataleptic episode"?).

WARNING! Usually if you are on the outer edge of sleep dreaming about something, it can often be something that is really happening externally. For example you might be dreaming that a tarantula is crawling across your face, when in reality your kids are tickling your nose with a feather.

So at this point, I should have realised that I was teetering on the edge of another cataleptic episode.

However, as often happens, in my dreamy state I believed this was a real book and I read the table of contents. One of the items on the list was a song you could sing in your mind to pull yourself out of a cataleptic episode.

So... in the real world I let catelepsy take hold. That's the point where I woke up and was fully aware. But for anybody who has heard about catalepsy, you know that during an episode your mind is fully active but your body ceases to respond.

Luckily, this was a friendly episode, as I was still breathing. (When you stop breathing, that's when panic can set in!) Since I was still breathing, I relaxed and waited for the episode to end (which was about 15-20 seconds later).

I could feel my jaw quivering, and that was all. I tried to talk, but could not. I tried to open my eyes and could not. I tried to tell my body to move; roll over or something! But catalepsy is like the mind is disconnected from the body. There is full awareness of the mind, but the usual cooperation of the body to the mind's commands ceases.

Occasionally in previous episodes of catalepsy my breathing stopped as well. This was quite scarey. Trying to scream with your mouth, only to hear the sound echo in vain through your mind only, is a terrible feeling that I can only liken to wanting to breath when you're underwater. INTENSE FRUSTRATION. That's the kind of thing I never want to experience again.

I am extremely fearful of one day falling into a cataleptic state and not coming out!

LINKS:
- http://www.ellenwhite.org/refute5.htm - Some person explaining almost EXACTLY what I have experienced, including hallucinations (which happened in my first experience when I was 15).
- http://www.wrongdiagnosis.com/c/catalepsy/intro.htm - one of the medical definitions I found that closely match my experience.

Note to family: Make sure I really AM dead when you bury me.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

just a note on your PS to your family... if you read the short story by Edgar Allan Poe called "the fall of the house of usher" it includes a woman suffering from catalepsy who is entombed alive for several days by her brother... i wont tell you the ending though, in case you actually do read it =]
i just thought that was interesting.
-a grade 12 student